“Resilience” is a term often used in construction or engineering and as defined by the dictionary, is “the ability of a substance or object to return to its original shape after being bent, stretched, or pressed.” The term “resilience” has been used, as of late, in conjunction with “mental health” to describe a person’s ability to bounce back after hardship. Those who are resilient would likely have better coping mechanisms and stable mental health long term. We know that resilience is important for mental health, but how does one build resilience within themselves?
Having faced the deaths by suicide of four of her family members, and her own traumatic journey as a burn survivor, Dr. Lise DeGuire is no stranger to devastating loss, depression and serious suicidal thoughts. Yet Lise survived and has, in fact, thrived. Her amazing journey and resilience have led to her current life as a psychologist, mother, and wife in what she describes as a “fairy tale marriage.” We can all learn from her story.
We also know that love and connection are important factors in mental health. “Love” can refer to the feelings one has for oneself, family, and friends. It is a deep feeling of affection, the embodiment of virtues, and protection, trust, and comfort. Sharing love can improve one’s mental health, as feelings of love engage us neurologically, releasing feel-good hormones and neurotransmitters throughout our body.
Philadelphia Phanatic for 30 years and author of Pheel the Love, Tom Burgoyne loves to build connections with others and uses his own brand of humor and charisma to be present with people, and help them feel loved and cared for. He has demonstrated throughout his career how love can have the amazing power to transform people. Crowned Top Sports Mascot by Forbes.com, Tom has donned the costume an estimated 5,000 times, for 81 home games per year and outside appearances. Tom became the Phanatic in 1988 after graduating from Drexel University and spending eight months in the business world.
DMAX Foundation will host Finding Strength in Broken Places on April 24, 2019, with keynote speaker Dr. Lise DeGuire. Dr. DeGuire, survivor of four family suicides, burn survivor, psychologist, and author of upcoming book The Flashback Girl, will discuss resilience and hope. Phillie Phanatic for 30 years, Tom Burgoyne will talk about how love can make a difference in people’s lives. The event will be moderated by Darcy Gruttadaro, Director of the Center for Workplace Mental Health at the American Psychiatric Association. The VIP Reception, including Phanatic meet and greet, begins at 5:45 PM. Doors open at 6:30 PM for the 7:00 PM program.
In addition to hosting mental health events for the community, DMAX Foundation is establishing DMAX Clubs on college campuses as environments for students to get together and talk about how they are doing, how their friends are doing, and how they can help each other. DMAX Clubs help reduce the sense of isolation and hopelessness for students who may be suffering from mental or emotional issues and can’t or don’t seek the help they need. Hear DMAX Club leaders speak at this impactful event about their experiences starting DMAX Clubs on their campuses.
If you know a college student who would be interested in starting or joining a DMAX Club, work for a college that would like to establish a DMAX Club, want to volunteer, or would like to support their efforts through donation or sponsorship, contact DMAX Foundation at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Reposted with permission from the original authors.
Congratulations to Kelly Brown, Director of 2-1-1 Services at Interface, for being one of the “2019 Women of the Year” in the 19th Senate District and the 37th Assembly District, an honor bestowed by California State Senator Hannah-Beth Jackson and Assembly member Monique Limón for her admirable 2-1-1 leadership in county and beyond, especially after last year’s tragic events.
Kelly is a nationally recognized 2-1-1 leader, sought after for her expertise and creativity. She’s tenacious, compassionate and oversees Interface’s dynamic 24-hour a day 2-1-1 Ventura operations. Kelly and her team has responded to countless local and national disasters, as well as the daily crises that flood into the 2-1-1 Ventura Contact Center ranging from serious domestic violence, homelessness and mental health crises. Our 2-1-1 Contact Center is growing as community partners see the huge value in leveraging 2-1-1’s reach and efficiencies.
Kelly will be honored together with Ventura County’s Kristin Decas of Port of Hueneme, Peggy Kelly from the Santa Paula Times and Jenifer Nyhuis of Vista del Mar Hospital during the 2019 Women of the Year Reception held on Friday, March 29th at Ventura County Credit Union in Ventura from 5pm-7pm.
When reached for comment, Kelly said:
“The work my team has done over the last couple of turbulent years has been difficult but the staff at Interface 2-1-1 have been able to rise up to meet the new challenges while maintaining the quality of our regular 2-1-1 work. I appreciate my Interface staff, our community partners, and our funders that have helped us to expand our range and reach in order to serve those that lost homes to disaster, and family members to violence.”
Each year, one of the largest gatherings of iCarol users takes place at the Alliance of Information and Referral Systems (AIRS) Training and Education conference. As a part of this conference, iCarol holds an all-day User Group Summit the Sunday before the conference officially kicks off. At this Summit, we hold the traditional User Group meeting that covers company plans, ongoing developments, and strategies for the year ahead. However, our User Group Summit is a more than just the user group meeting. We also offer free, in-depth and hands on iCarol training so our customers can get even more value from their iCarol systems, and elevate their I&R and technical skills at the same time.
We’re in the process of planning this year’s Summit, but we’d really like to know — What do you want to learn about?
We’ve put together a brief survey so you can share your thoughts with us, which we’ll use to ensure the topics addressed in the Summit are suited to our customers’ needs. Don’t miss your chance to share your ideas, the survey will only stay open until the end of the day on Thursday, February 14!
If you want to witness one of the most challenging yet also most rewarding aspects of helpline work, look to the major holidays. Centers that operate 24/7/365 experience the challenge of staying open all the time and being there for help seekers even on major religious and civic holidays. It can be tough to staff these days, and hard for staff and volunteers to spend a special holiday away from friends and family, but ultimately knowing that you helped someone in their time of need makes the hard work and sacrifice worthwhile.
So what kinds of calls (or chats or texts!) do such services receive on these major holidays?
Hello from a familiar voice
At any given hotline it’s fairly common to have a population of people both in and outside their communities for whom the helpline is a part of this person’s support network. These folks rely on the helpline as a support system for a number of reasons; limited social and familial relationships, daily coping with mental illness or disabilities, loneliness, or someone simply had a very successful interaction that keeps them coming back for support. Regardless of the reason, helplines should take this caller loyalty as a compliment and endorsement. And you’ll likely hear from these same people on the holidays as well, either to check-in and talk like they normally would, or often with an added “Thank you for being there.”
More than a handful of times I can recall answering the phone on a major holiday and the person on the other end was baffled by the sound of another human voice. “Oh…hello? Are you a real person?” or “Oh wow, you guys are there today!” Often they were prepared to have to leave a message or were just testing the line. It was nice to hear someone pleasantly surprised that they could speak to another person on a day where so much was going on and so many other services are closed, and it usually made me feel like I was in the right place that day.
I need a meal/toy for my child/counselor/shelter/etc.
These calls can be a challenge because for many situations, the help seeker isn’t going to be able to get help that day. As mentioned above, many services are closed and it can be tough to give a person referrals but know that their situation may remain in limbo until the holiday has passed. Thankfully in my experience there were at least a handful of non-profits or religious institutions who were open and providing things like hot meals on many holidays, and even those who had last-minute toy giveaways for families with children who hadn’t signed up for such programs in advance. And, even when the referred service isn’t open, you’re able to at least provide empathy and hope which can make a world of difference.
Crises don’t take a day off
For many people, holidays are more stressful than they are delightful, and actually present a recipe for crisis. Tensions that were simmering below the surface can easily rise up when a person is under stress. And while for most people family gatherings are a happy occasion, for others these get-togethers can easily result in outbursts or even violence. Of course this can happen in a group setting or to someone who is alone. After all, a holiday is just another day, presenting all the same hardships as the day before. There is nothing special about a holiday that can create a foolproof barrier against a crisis or suicidal thoughts — making it all the more critical that someone be available to help talk things through or intervene in some way.
I want to help
Holidays that put a focus on gratitude and generosity will bring out the best in people. For many, the spirit of giving is coursing through them so much that they’re looking for a last minute opportunity to volunteer somewhere so they can give back to others in need. Unfortunately for these generous people, most organizations have long since filled their need for volunteers on the actual holiday, plus there are application processes and/or training that make it infeasible to accept these spur of the moment offers of volunteerism. Luckily these folks are usually willing to accept referrals to the many organizations in their area that need volunteers year ’round, not just on the holidays, and would hopefully follow through with their plan to help after going through the proper processes.
Holidays are a painful reminder
For many people the holiday itself can be a cause of negative feelings, and they need someone to vent to. Perhaps they have a particularly bad memory associated with the day or time of year, and pain surfaces as a result. This may be a memory from long ago or something that happened much more recently, but anniversaries tend to make us recall these past events and relive the emotions experienced, good or bad. Some people are grieving a lost loved one, and holidays remind them of the empty seat at the table. For others, seeing people enjoying get-togethers with family and friends shines a painful spotlight on their own loneliness or broken relationships. Being the person that was there for them when they needed it most can be very rewarding.
Perhaps the most heartwarming interaction you can have is with the person who calls just to say “Thanks.” Sometimes they’re people who have used your service in the past. Or, it may just be a person who finds out you’re there on a major holiday and recognizes that by sacrificing some of your time, you’re making a positive impact on others. A simple “Thank you” goes such a long way.
During the holidays we know many of you out there will be spending some time apart from your families as you work to serve your communities. On behalf of all of us here at iCarol, thank you for all you do and we wish you a happy holiday season and bright New Year!
Guest Blogger Adam Cook started AddictionHub.org after losing a friend to substance abuse and suicide. Mr. Cook’s mission is to provide people struggling with substance abuse with resources to help them recover. He founded Addiction Hub, which locates and catalogs addiction resources.
Guest blogger views and opinions expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official position of CharityLogic and iCarol
Recovering from addiction is a long-term process. In fact, it’s a lifelong struggle. To help recovering addicts remain sober, treatment professionals often encourage them to spend time with friends and family. Loved ones can be an important source of emotional and moral support at a time when help is most needed. But there are times when even the most dedicated family member can be a distraction without realizing it. As fun and reassuring as get-togethers can be, addiction may assert itself at any time. One well-meaning but forgetful relative hanging around an open bar can easily lead to a relapse that undoes months of progress.
People with substance abuse problems can enjoy the fun and fellowship of family gatherings just as they always have, even in the early stages of sobriety. But it’s important to observe a few rules and to understand the challenges and stresses that are likely to arise, especially during the holidays.
Think it through
As we all know, family parties and social events tend to generate their own unique kinds of stress, so be certain that you’re doing everything you can to help your guest handle it from a sobriety standpoint. One good strategy is to rate the situation based on risk level. If you know it’s likely to be a high-risk scenario for a recovering addict, consider limiting the amount of alcohol that’ll be served. Or you can plan to shorten the evening a bit and reduce the likelihood that your guest might give in to temptation. If it’s feasible, consider throwing a non-alcoholic party.
If you’re throwing a holiday shindig, make sure there are plenty of non-alcoholic options on your drink list. Include drinks like sparkling water and an array of soft drinks, and plenty of finger foods. Remember that people in the early stages of sobriety need to watch out for things that might trigger a relapse. Try to put yourself in their shoes and make it easy as possible for them to avoid exposure to alcohol, tobacco, and drugs.
The buddy system
Do you know someone who doesn’t smoke, drink or do drugs? If so, invite them to your party so your newly recovered family member won’t feel so alone and uncomfortable. It’s a positive distraction, and provides a ready-made excuse to steer clear of the action around the bar and people who are just there to tie one on. Remember, peer support is essential for someone going through the early stages of sobriety.
If you have limited space or you’re expecting a lot of guests, remember that a recovering addict is very vulnerable to peer pressure and needs an easy means of escaping the crowd. Provide ready access to open areas such as a patio or lawn or a quieter space in the house; they’re great refuges when things get a little too claustrophobic.
Learn your lines
Take a few minutes to think through how you’ll respond if a boozy great uncle shoves a scotch and soda at a relative who’s newly sober. Knowing how you’ll respond can help smooth over a potentially awkward situation. It’s not necessary to concoct a world-class fable, just have something in mind that’ll help your guest steer clear of embarrassment.
Keep it kid-friendly
You can also help young people avoid exposure to alcohol and drugs by establishing secure, “adults-only” areas if you’re having a party. This way, you’ll avoid creating opportunities for any kids and teens who might be hanging around to experiment with alcohol and, possibly, develop substance abuse issues later in life.
There’s no reason that people who live with substance abuse problems can’t enjoy a good time when friends and family get together. Making sure they do just takes a little extra consideration and effort.
Advocating for the needs of your organization and the clients you serve is a huge component of the overall survival and success of your agency. Some may find the prospect of lobbying elected officials intimidating and confusing, but it’s actually not as complex or scary as it may seem!
We invite you to attend a webinar on this topic on Tuesday, December 11th at 2pm EST. Sara Sedlacek from The Crisis Center of Johnson County will present information that takes the mystery and intimidation out of the advocacy process, helping you get the ear and support of the local, state, and federal officials elected to represent you and the people who benefit from your services.
With legislative sessions beginning in January, now is the time to learn more about how to advocate for your organization.
Although at least one study found it occurs in 99% of domestic violence cases, financial abuse is one of the least discussed aspects of unhealthy and abusive relationships between intimate partners. Financial abuse happens when the perpetrator of abuse controls the abused partner’s access to financial resources. This could include stealing money or creating an environment where the abused partner is unable or not allowed to work, leaving them financially dependent upon their abuser. Often, people in such situations won’t have complete access to their funds, and if they do have any access their use of financial resources is closely watched and they are expected to provide a detailed account of expenditures. This is another way for an abusive partner to maintain control and power over the person they are abusing. This also happens to be a common method of keeping the victim/survivor trapped in the relationship, as research shows that financial insecurity is a top reason survivors stay with or return to abusive partners. The effects and consequences of financial abuse can follow a survivor long after they have broken free of the relationship and affect their ability to regain financial stability.
The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) in partnership with the National Endowment for Financial Education (NEFE), provides a free webinar series to assist survivors with financial education. The six webinars in the series focus on financial education and are aimed at both the survivors of domestic violence and those who serve them.
CharityVillage, an online community dedicated to knowledge, training, and collaboration for non-profit organizations in Canada, will hold a free webinar on Thursday, December 6th from 1-2pm EST.
From the CharityVillage website:
Fundraising in small organizations can be crazy-making. It can be demoralizing to hear “XYZ large organization just hosted a million dollar gala. I think we should try host a gala too”. Or maybe it’s the dreaded “I’ve never heard of your organization”. It’s tough to be a small nonprofit where it feels like the large ones have all the advantages. How can you compete?
Add to that the many hats you wear and the immense time pressures. Who can fit fundraising in? There is never enough time in the day to do what we want to accomplish…
Today is Giving Tuesday and we know many of you have some great campaigns in the works to generate awareness about your organization, which will hopefully result in an influx of financial support and donations.
Let iCarol help you boost the signal on your Giving Tuesday tweets. Here’s how you can help us retweet you and generate more views for your tweets:
Be sure to use the official #GivingTuesday hashtag in your tweets
Throughout the day we’ll retweet you to our followers
Giving Tuesday is a great opportunity to get the word out about your organization and get noticed during this season of charitable giving. We’re looking forward to reading all your great tweets sharing information about the valuable work of your organizations and wish you all lots of success generating interest, awareness, and monetary support for your agency!
Want to have your Giving Tuesday story shared on the iCarol blog? Email me for more information.
Transgender Day of Remembrance, recognized each year on November 20th, honors the memory of transgender people lost to fatal violence and homicide. According to data provided by the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), at least 22 transgender people were killed in acts of violence thus far in 2018. HRC notes that this is an estimation likely lower than the actual number of lives lost, because of the numerous difficulties involved in tracking these crimes. Reasons include the fact that crimes against transgender people are often underreported and people can be misgendered by the media, law enforcement, or even their own families when these crimes are reported.
Often times these tragedies can be directly linked back to anti-trans prejudice. And, even in cases where this direct connection cannot be made, it is often clear that the victim’s transgender identity in some way made them more at risk of being a victim of crime. For example, transgender people are much more likely to become homeless than people who are not transgender, and homelessness puts a person at a much higher risk of becoming a victim of a violent crime.
None of us are innocent. We must envision practices of remembrance that situate our own positions within structures of power that authorize violence in the first place. Our task is to move from sympathy to responsibility, from complicity to reflexivity, from witnessing to action. It is not enough to simply honor the memory of the dead — we must transform the practices of the living.
It’s important to have discussions about violence against transgender people and talk about how we might be complicit in the circumstances of their deaths. How can we change that? What can we do to bring this number down to the only statistic that is acceptable — zero. Greater education about trans people and the issues they face is one important factor. Visibility and representation is another. As a society we can look at what programs and services, or legislation, can be enacted to better serve and protect transgender individuals. Even better, how do we build a more inclusive society where trans people are recognized as human beings worthy of equality and no longer seen as “other?” It’s only when all that happens that we may see anti-trans prejudice begin to decline, and violence against transgender people along with it.
You can read more about Transgender Day of Remembrance, find a local event or candlelight vigil, gather resources on trans issues, and learn what action you can take from the following places: